The Rural Compromise

Throughout my wanderings across Southwestern Ontario, as I am sure you have realised, I have landed myself in both urban and rural places to live.

As I currently live in an urban centre (not Toronto...don't worry, I won't put myself through that again!), I still find that I yearn for the small town loveliness. (Just like when I lived in the small town, I yearned for the city. It's like I just can't be satisfied. Pfft.) Well, I may have recently found a good compromise. Live in the city, but work in the small town. I know, I know, most people do this the other way around. I like to be different, what can I say??

It's only been a few weeks of the switch up with work, but it's off to an excellent start. I spend my mornings driving through the countryside, enjoying the horse paddocks to the right, and the patches of forest on the left. Traffic is minimal, a tractor or two on the road to slow us down, but that's about it. I mean, it's not as ideal as my two minute roll to work when I was working at the city office, but I really can't complain.

One of the projects I am working on right now is setting up an event. This really defines why I love small towns. I stroll on into the Legion to scout out their hall as a potential venue. As I look around the hall, an older gentleman walks through. He stops.

"You looking to get married here?" he asks me.

A little startled at the question, I hastily answer "Uh, no, sir."

He raises his eyebrows in wonderment as to why I am there.

I think quick. "Can't find anyone to agree yet!" I exclaimed, whilst snapping my fingers and doing the classic finger gun.

He chuckles and carries on to the bar side.

See, in a small town, this is a funny, friendly old man. In the city...he would be classified as a creepy old man.

Small town charm seeps into everyone. You just can't help it.

The Real Deal

Sweet!!! The recruitment agency has set me up with an interview with a posh hotel's corporate office!!! Interview Monday morning, will be sure to mind my p's and q's, not babble, not crack jokes, say all the right things. It will be glorious.

So that means, taking Monday off. Which means only four more days of work left!!! Woop woop!!!

On an unrelated note, my dear friend Emily has just moved to China for one year, to teach English. I had found an article in the past while that noted that Chinese officials are cracking down on illegal roadside stalls that sell pirated dvd's, blackmarket makeup....and puppies. Yes, puppies. So of course I forwarded the article to Emily. Now that she has arrived to China, her email to me to let me know she has landed safely goes as such:

They sell donkey meat on road side stalls, and you once told me they weren't allowed to use horns; well they never got the message all they do is honk and then cut each other off. It's odd.
And I have yet to find a puppy.
I must go now, but we'll talk soon.
xox
em

Ahhhh....she gives me the giggles. First of all, I wonder, people really eat donkey meat????? I have enough troubles with the thought of eating animals who don't reside on regular farms. But donkeys??? I could not imagine a donkey to have a nice...texture or taste. Hmmmm.... oh well, apparently someone likes it.

Happy travels Emily!!!!!

Thirty-three days of what...

Armed with the information that I only have 33 work days left at my current job, I should feel an extra surge of 'git-r-done', so that I can leave this position in a neat, orderly manner. But rather, I am feeling a bit worn. I look at the list of open claims I have, and sigh....I don't really want to speak with these disgruntled clients who feel they have been wronged so.

Instead I would just like to pray the problems will go away. But I know they won't. So I'll buckle down and prove my worth here for 33 more days, so that on the day that I leave they will say it's a shame I am leaving.

To which I will say Sorry Suckers! And not look back.

Another Fornication Friday

Friday has arrived yet again. (Because I was expecting it not to!?!?!) And yet again, I whistled my way through the day, avoiding work.

Hey. When I sit in a damn cubby in the middle of the hallway, and no one is around, how are they going to know?? I am like an island out here. I still manage to get my shit done. I just get it done faster and with less effort. Only 49 days left. That is 7 Fornication Friday's that I can't wait for.

For the next week and a half, I have been appointed the task of recording all the daily payments that come in. This is a job that was once mine, one that I have happily shed to another sucker in this office. And yet here I am, agreeing to do it for the next 7 days. I believe it says sucker on my forehead.

So yes, I did the cash, answered the phone a few times and read the news online. Real news and fake news. Fake news being that of celebrities. Those people are fuckin' dumb. Honestly, why do we pay so much attention to them, and give them the gratification of that attention? All the Paris' and Lindsay's of the world should just roll over and die. (Ok, well maybe not die. No need to be so mean. They should just roll over out of the way and stay there.) This whole Britney Spears drama with her umbrella...why do we care?

Ok. Enough of the damn celebrities.

In the real news today, I found an article about an ice cream truck driver who was not-so-inconspicuously selling weed from the same truck. Bravo Mr. Dealer, nothing like providing the weed and the snacks for the munchies that are soon to follow, and then getting busted for it. Who did he image himself after? Cheech or Chong? Perhaps he would have been better to spray his truck with weed and have the potheads lick and peel the weed off the side or something. This alleged pot-peddler was spotted by local police after they had been given a tip off of his illicit selling of wares. The statement given by the officer who spoke to the man who delighted children of all ages, was that he "detected the odour of marijuana coming from the truck (along with tutti-frutti and a couple other flavours)." I'm glad that the cop gave recognition to the fact there was ice cream on board the truck. I suspect this pot-dealers dreams of becoming the king pin has gone up in smoke.....

And score for me, it's 4:48. I get to go home soon.

The Rush of Freedom

I feel like Braveheart right now. Standing on the hill (or my desk) and yelling out "FREEDOM!!" for all to hear.

I handed in my letter of resignation today. This place can kiss my ass. August 24, 2007 is the last day I will be kicking around this office. Yes, August 24 is still far away, 52 days away, but I thought I'd be a super nice kid and let them know far in advance, so they have ample opportunity to replace me. (Uhhh....and so they can sort out my vacation accrual pay issue that I have been hounding them since March to figure out....honestly, nice job HR.)

Ok, when I say 52 days, that seems like an eternity, but when I say in less that two months....it feels like that is tomorrow!!!

And what is it that I am going to do, you might ask, when day 52 comes about? Besides drink a keg of beer all to myself in celebration, I will be packing up my worldly belongings and move to Toronto. I am flying by the seat of my pants, so to say, with the plan that by day 52, a company down in Toronto will have interviewed me and offered me a job for the start of September. I have sent out countless resumes and plan to send out countless more until I get a job.

And as a little something on the side, I've been working with my mom developing a business. It is not really enough to carry me without another job, but it's pretty damn cool regardless. I've got a blog about it actually. The blog is kind of low key, but hey, my mom reads it, so I have to keep it focused. I write on it about the developments of our company. I've been pretty lame with updating though. Oh well, I'll get there. So my point--my mom is a Certified Power Coach, and next month, she is going to start prepping me, becuase I am going to take courses in the Fall to be a coach as well. So in addition, I can coach people and start a client base myself if I want. Well, I guess that isn't really in addition to...it's more a compliment to the business.

Ahhh....this sense of freedom is great. When I told my boss this morning, she thought it was great. I will miss her.....funny that my boss works in Houston TX, yet she's the one I like the best in management around this place....

Too Much Sharing

I feel I must share 5 things with you...

1. We got new hand soap in the washrooms at work, and it smells like those fabric bandaids. Yuck.

2. I just finished a delicious lunch (spinach and ricotta panzerotti from Angelo's, mmmm) and am now full. I was talking to Jody at the front desk, rubbing my belly to edge out a tiny burp, and my manager watched me do it. Kind of embarrassed.

3. The accounting manager walked into the windowpane beside her door this morning because she was busy chatting....hehehhee.

4. I think someone at work has fleas because every now and then during the workday, my legs get itchy and I find little bites up and down my legs. These bites are not there in the morning when I get out of bed. (Dear lord, I hope they don't have crabs.....but no one seems to be itching there.)

5. Last week, I stood up at my desk and did not realize my chair rolled back a bit when I did. I sat back down, missed the chair and landed flat on my ass on the floor. And then I could not stand back up because I was giggling so hard. No one saw it, but I told them all anyways.

It's nice to share :)

Fornication Friday

I've been signed into my blog for nearly an hour now. Trying to think of what to post. While it's Friday, and I want it to be a 'Fornication Friday', work has been interrupting that plan.

(Well, that's what I get for trying to screw off at work....)

Perhaps I can give tips on how to have your own Fornication Friday. Not that I am a pro at faking work or anything, and my office is pretty lax, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

1. If you are one for idle chatter with co-workers, I recommend printing random reports to the printer, so you have an excuse to stand up and walk away from your desk. Upon retrieving the documents, examine them closely with a stony face, look up and walk over to the coworker you wish to gossip with. While chattering away, randomly wave the paper, point at it, and try not to laugh at the joke she just told you.

2. If you have call display on your phone, turn your ringer off. If a call comes through from someone you HAVE to talk to, you will know by the number or extension that shows on the call display. Otherwise, turn the ringer on your phone to the lowest setting, and pick and choose when you answer. If no one directly around you knows you are not taking the calls, who can give you trouble for it? If it's someone who needs you immediately, they will leave a vm, and you can just say you were either on another call, or in the middle of a report or something.

3. Spread out lots of paperwork, books, what-have-you across your desk. Have document in front of you at all times that makes it look like you are referring to it while on the computer.

4. If you are meandering around the office, always have an answer prepared for what you are doing away from your desk. I.E., looking for the office manager because you have a question about something, looking for a ruler, trying to track down some original paperwork. You get the drift. That way when you are goofing off in the I.T. room, you won't get in trouble. Computer trouble is a likely reason to be talking to the guy in I.T. And if you had to work on my computer, you would know that weird things happen to my computer a lot so it is believable.

Ok so it turns out I don't have that many tips as I thought. Give me a break.

Hope you are all having a great Friday!!!!!

Call of the week: Driver's Ed

It never fails. At least one call comes through that qualifies to be shared each week. This week, I would like to call it "Driver's Ed".

It seems that a business had just been delivered their new telephone directory. A gentleman dropped off a couple, and went back to his car. Out front of the building is a parking lot with ample space. Plenty of room to turn your car around in, the caller says. But this gentleman chose a different way. He backed his car up right where he was. He backed up into the pond on their front lawn.

That's right. Backed up into the pond.

Now he didn't get too far into the pond before he realised what he had done. Rather, just along the edge. And then he kind of got stuck in the pond. He spun his wheels in his attempts to get out of the pond. Sent some rocks flying, showered pond water about. TORE THE POND LINER.

He got out of the pond. He did not go back into the business to apologise. He just left!! Can you believe that?!?!? He damaged their property and left. What did he think, that this would not catch up to him? That the business would not call it in to let us know?? Silly fool....they always call....

So...should you ever drive into someone's pond.....maybe you should go in and apologise. I mean, I know you would feel like an ass for doing it in the first place, but it just might save your ass in the long run.

The Power of Suggestion

Ok. So now that Yvonne has said to me "that sales rep is cute" I can't stop thinking that yes, she is right. He is cute. And I am wondering if he is single. And what sort of senario I can plan to accidentally run into him outside of work. I know he lives in my neighbourhood. I wonder if he goes to the pub there. This could be interesting. I need to investigate.

And the boss said.....

Today the manager of the accounting department came to my desk with a rather serious look on her face. At first thought.....I thought....shit, what did I do?

But no.

She leans in close, and says in a hushed voice, "That sales rep is cute. I usually wouldn't say that, but he's just so cute. You should find out about him. See if he's single and ask him out."

She winked at me and walked away.

Hmmmmm. I wonder.....

Today I am banging my head off the wall at work. As I have previously mentioned, I have lost the will to work here. I joke around that I have cleaned off my desk and am still unable to locate it. It's not under that form, it is not under that memo, nor under that book. I also checked the garbage bin just in case. Nope, not there. I don't know where it went. If you know, please inform me.

I think if you have read about the kinds of calls I get, you would understand.

But alas. Today is that day that is dragging on forever. I've already posted once. And look, here I am again, plunking away on my keyboard, thinking of something witty to say. But I don't feel very witty. So I went online and found something fun.....

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

So I filled it out. I guess that is me in a nutshell. Pretty cool. You should try it.

PS. I can't wait to tell Stargazer about this so she can do it.....

PPS. That took me a whole 4 minutes. And I was typing slow. And arranging my 'visual dna' on the page in various spots. Damn. Hmm...well....if....I.......keep.....typing.....slow....it....will....make...up....for....5....minutes.....

Too Many Crazies

Oh man. I lied in one of my recent posts. THIS is the craziest call I had last week. I will only sum it up for you, rather than rattle off the conversation.

Again, an error in our Sarnia-Lambton directory.

Crazy-Taxi-Cab-Man called in to inform us that we listed him in the f%*&ing white pages, and not the f%*&ing yellow pages. What kind of a$$holes are we to do that? Who gives us the right to f%*&ing decide where he is listed?? Why does he pay us to do that???

I try to calmly apologise to the crazy-taxi-cab-man for the error, and inform him I can submit the correction and have it fixed next year. (Well, that doesn't f%*&ing help him right now.) I also tell him he has not paid to be listed, it was info provided by the public utility company. I might have uttered a giggle as this was to ridiculous. I tell him that if he continues to swear at me, I will hang up. And then he says he's going to come down to our office. I say, if that is what you want to do, ok. Then he says...(are you ready for this?)...

"I'm going to come to your office, and you'll call the police. And when they show up, I'll beat them all up too!"

Seriously, I am not kidding. So I manage to confirm that he would like his listing removed from the f%*&ing white section and placed in the f%*&ing yellow section, and then hang up on him after I tell him again I will hang up if he keeps swearing.

Then he calls back. He demands to speak to my boss. Jody tells him I am the manager of this department, he insists that I must report to someone. She obliges and gives him the number to our corporate office where my boss works.

So he calls Suzanne. He rattles off the same slurs to her, but his insane two lines to her are:

"Who do I make out the lawsuit to?" She says that is something he would have to speak to his lawyer about, and he replies "I don't have a lawyer, I take care of everything myself." So she says "Well then sir, I think you should be able to answer your own question." (Hehehe, this is why I love her).

Next insane line that he says to her "How do you know I wasn't just released from prison on a life sentence and that I won't come and murder you?" OMG. He really did say that. Her reply was "If you were in prison on a life sentence, they would not have released you."

WHAT A WEIRDO!!!!!!!!!!

Can't I call the police and report him for making threats against our company and the police? I have his name and number after all....

(Please Lord, assist me in my quest for a new job, because this is too ridiculous....)

Fraudulent Lunch

Today was a sneaky lunch hour for myself, Crystal and Jody. We faked a lunch date, so we could really scam a great dinner.

The company we work for, offers trade packages to various businesses, mainly restaurants, for advertising. In other words, a $5000 ad could be paid for by $2000 cash, and $3000 in gift certificates to that restaurant. We use these trade certificates for various things, such as to host business functions, to treat clients, and to offer as incentives to sales reps, and as thank you's to our office staff members.

Crystal is in charge of the trade: distributing it, tracking it, reporting it. That kind of stuff.

Crystal is also my friend who agrees we get shafted a lot around here.

~wink~

You see where I am going here?? So earlier this week, Crystal and I decided it was high time that we treated ourselves to lunch, on the company's dime. But we really only get a half hour lunch time, not much for going downtown and enjoying a nice meal.

We conspired. Crystal requested that she be able to treat Jody and I to lunch, for doing such a great job around here. Our sales manager approved it.

We agreed to "fake" a lunch excursion, but in reality, go for dinner instead.

We went to my house for lunch. I made myself a grilled cheese. Crystal and Jody brought sandwiches from home. We sat around my living room and giggled at our sly genius. When enough time had passed to make it believable that we would be able to rush downtown and gobble food, we headed back~we got the extension on our lunch hour ok'd by the sales manager.

So now, in less than 3 hours, we will be sitting in a cozy little Italian restaurant, sipping the house wine, eating crab and lobster cakes, waiting for our gourmet entrees to arrive.

And no one will be the wiser.

Why lie???

Sigh. Most memorable call of the week.

Me: "Good afternoon, Melissa speaking."

Crazyman: "Hello, am I speaking to a manager of this company?"

Me: "You are speaking with the Customer Service Associate of Canada."

Crazyman: "Good. You can tell me who authorizes your company to produce your Sarnia-Lambton directory. Where you get the information from."

Me: "Ok sir. Well, we purchase all of our listing information from the local utility companies."

Crazyman: "I don't believe you. I just got off the phone from XXX Company, and they said they do not give out listing information. Do you actually buy it from them, or copy it all out directly from their book?"

Me: "We purchase the information, sir. They provide it to us in electronic files. Several companies purchase this information from them."

Crazyman: "Well that is not what they said."

Me: "I am sorry they told you this sir, however, I assure you, this is the situation. What seems to be your concern?"

Crazyman: "Well there is a listing in here that should not be here."

Me: "I apologize sir. We are aware that unfortunately we do get provided with outdated information. The files they send us are not the files they use for their own directory."

Crazyman: "Well, it's my parents. And they have been dead for two years. This is the third time you have listed this!!"

(That's right, dead for TWO years, but we've listed it THREE times since.)

Me: "Sir, we've only produced a Sarnia directory for two years."

Crazyman: "....that is what I meant."

Me: "I certainly apologise if this has caused you any grief, I can process a request to have this listing removed in the future should XXX Company provide this information to us again."

Crazyman: "Well, I would like to tell you how much this upsets me, I mean, they have been dead for two years. I just want to let you know that if this happens again, it will be a police issue."

Me: "I can appreciate your concern sir. As I said, this is information provided to us by another company, you would really have to take it up with them."

Crazyman: "Well I tried. And they said they don't do it."

Me: "As I said sir, they do. The person you would have spoken with would just be a regular customer service representative. They would know nothing of what the corporate business sales are."

Meanwhile I am typing in a directory search engine, search this phone number....and find a listing for his dead parents online....on three different sites.

Crazyman: "I'll call that department then."

Me: "Ok. Just to make you aware, I have just taken the liberty of searching this phone number online, and have located it listed as your parents name and address on three sites."

Crazyman: "I don't believe you."

Me: "Ok then. I'll process your request. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience to you and your family. Have a nice day."

Crazyman: "Fine."

I hang up the phone, and reach over for my Sarnia directory. Figure I'll confirm the address he gave me because he rushed through it, and I want to make sure I get it removed accordingly.

Hmmmm......there seems to be NO LISTING FOR THE DEAD PARENTS IN THE DIRECTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think to myself, oh, maybe he is looking in last year's book. Open that one. Still no listing for these people.

HE MADE IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!! He just harangued me for nothing!!!!

Honestly. Some people.

Classic Complaints

Ok. These are my all time favourite kinds of calls I get. And by favourite, I mean they annoy me, but make me laugh at the very same time.

1. The "My life is ruined because of your book" call
Elderly ladies like to call in and tell us that because we have either listed their address or postal code incorrectly, they are not getting invitations to parties in a timely manner, and are missing out on several parties. It is ruining their social lives.

My thoughts: if your friends have to get your address out of a phone book, they aren't that good of friends. Furthermore, if you have not replied to said invitations, and your friends don't follow up for an RSVP, again, they aren't that good of friends.

2. The "Your company doesn't respect veterans" call
Elderly gentlemen will call in and tell us that because we have either omitted their listing, or listed it somewhat incorrectly, we don't have respect for veterans. They went to war for our country, and we can't even give them the respect they deserve by listing them in our phone directory. And we call ourselves Canadian. Such blasphemy.

My thoughts: Yes sir. That's right. You faught in the war, so I thought it would be a neat trick to screw with you now to show you the disrespect of younger generations.

3. The "I didn't read my contract thoroughly, and now you owe me money" call
Some customers do not thoroughly read through what is written on contracts, nor do they pay attention to what they tell the sales rep to write.

Example: A manager of a hotel provided her cell phone number as the listing number on the contract; she did not provide any other number anywhere on the contract. And now the book has printed as such, and she is having a fit.

My thoughts: You're the tool who gave the wrong number. It's our duty to print the information provided. You should not be a manager if you can't even distinguish between your own cell number and the business number.

4. The "I didn't really look at my proof of the ad when I signed off on it" call
Some customers fail to thoroughly review their advertising proofs, yet sign off on them that they are ok. And then they call me in fits that the ad is wrong and they demand a refund.

Example: A restaurant owner called in and demanded to know why we changed his ad, it was not what he signed off on. In the top corner of the ad it says "Reservations Rewarded", rather than "Reservations Required". He says "What do you people think?!?!? I pat my patrons on the back when they show up on time?!?!?!?" So I investigate the situation, only to find he signed off on the proof as such. He sheepishly said "Oh, I see...."

My thoughts: To start, who is the tool in our graphics department who did that!?! Second, that is the funniest comment I have ever heard!! And of course third....did you even look at your proof before you signed it off????

There are many more, but too many to pick from. I think these will give you an idea of my day. Let's not get into the real pickle-of-a-situation calls, as you would be horrifed of the mistakes that this company makes, and the resolutions I have to make.

Well, ok. Here is a dousy. Though I can not say it's falls under favourite anymore.

One of our directories had a corrupted file~unbeknownst to our production department and the printer we use. So, there are two whole pages missing. The page prior to it was duplicated in it's place. There are three half pages ads missing now. That means big cashola is going back to the customers. Try explaining to angry construction company owners what happened and that of course we are issuing refund cheques, but we hope that they will continue to do business with us.

Oh god. I feel like I have leaked company secrets. I better shut up now before they find out and fire me!!!!

Hmm...I am a droning worker bee

Look at that. It is 4:15 and I didn't blog anything else like I planned to. Work got in the way. Though I didn't want to do it. People just kept calling and emailing. Jerks.

Now my blog is not funny today.

I am NOT a droning worker bee

It has finally happened. I've lost the will to work. I no longer want to pick up the phone to have someone yell at me, argue with me, tell me the company I work for and represent is terrible. Honestly, who wants to hear that all the time? Not me.

Actually, I lose the will to work about once every two weeks. I was just on a really good run there....kept my claims low, returned calls, made good resolutions. But now....hmmm...not so much.

In the words of my friend Bob...I'd rather stick a pencil in my eye. And now with my one good eye, I will think of funny things to say and then blog about it. At least I will be productive at something today.

Customer Service Letter # 3

Dear Customer,

Our Accounts Receivable Department has yet again requested that our Customer Service Department review your file. Your continual changing claim that your ad is wrong has not once proven to be true. Yet here I am again, reviewing your file, after having listened to you tell another fabrication about your ad.

We can sympathise for you that you must be schizophrenic, according to the different way you speak to each of our employees. It is regrettable you can't get your medication under control.

You're most recent claim has yet again proven to be false. There are specific changes requested to your ad which were followed to a T. These other changes you speak of are not written on any ad proof. I noticed how you changed your statement immediately when I offered to fax over the copy of the proof that you only verbally requested this change and it was the fault of the sales rep for not writing it down. It must be difficult to accept that you have been caught in a lie.

As such, our Customer Service Department does not offer any sort of monetary adjustments for clients who are blatant liars, even if it is due to a medical condition. This detail should be written into our Contract Terms and Conditions.

I will happily hand your account back to our Collections Department. They will follow up for payment. I hope to never have to speak with you again.

I also hope the men in white jackets come for you soon. Until then, have a nice day.

Sincerely yours,
Customer Service.

It really was Luck o' The Irish

Well, many of you will be overjoyed to know that I won the St Paddy's Day desk decorating contest at work. Yes, my office gets overenthusiastic about such holidays, and we host competitions. Often we have potluck too....and my jello was a big hit, incase you have been wondering.

I was left to my own devises for decorations this time around. All the dollar stores between work and home were out of St Paddy's decorations, even tried WalMart and Giant Tiger!! Nothing!!! So I put on my crazy thinking boots, and came up with the following:

One giant rainbow made from construction paper
One 'pot of gold' ~ really, it was a kitchen pot full of yellow tinsel and golden baby potatoes ('cause that is just too funny!)
One box of Lucky Charms (I couldn't resist)
One Irish flag
One Blarney Stone ~ otherwise known as a rock my roommate keeps in her room
One toy snake
One print out on the history of Saint Patrick
A bunch of pictures of clovers
A green sheet to put it all on

It looks pretty spectacular, if I must say so myself!! Those judges were not captivated or fooled by the glitz and glamour of the other coworkers desks who acutally found decorations at the store. Creativity beats them all!!! And there was an educational value too, as I informed the judges about St Patrick and why we celebrate him.

You know....I get told on a regular basis that I am one of a kind.

I don't know if that is always a good thing.....

:)
M

It's the Luck o' the Irish

With only four more days until St Paddy's day, I am already planning A) the dish I will bring to work on Friday for the St Patrick's day potluck B) the green outfit I will wear to work on Friday that is still work-worthy as our Board of Directors are coming to our office (eek) and C) the ridiculous outfit I will wear out on the real St Patty's day to the bar in Listowel (hee hee hee...see, I am behaving like I am 20, solid evidence right there).

My mom~being a Scottish lady and proud of it~says in disdain "I'm Scottish! Why would I celebrate St Patrick's day!?!?!?" and scowls when I say "But mom.....everyone is Irish on St Paddy's day!" She just doesn't get it. And she fails to remember that somewhere along the way, my Grandpa's heritage does have Irish in it. Not that this is my excuse to drink mass quanities of beer with green food colouring in it. After all, I am just one more person in the line who really has no idea what St Patrick's day is all about~I just want the green beer and to have a cute boy kiss me 'cause I'm Irish. (Oh, I think my great gran on my mom's side is spinning in her grave. As my grandma says to this day, she was spinning the day I was baptised Catholic....)

And now that I think about it, my nan on my dad's side was Irish. There we go.....I can officially be a proud member of the Irish folk. And my brother-in-law is Irish, so that must count for something too. Please line up the green beer.

I feel that in the next four days, I should read up on why the Irish (and so many other folk) celebrate St Patrick's day. Yup, this is how I'll kill some time between now and then.

And PS....I'm bringing in green and orange jello for potluck. After all....the theme is green.

:)
M