Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Handle with care

I had to think about a handle. Not about my little love handles. Not about the fact that I need to get a handle on my life. Nooooo....but a screen name, a user id, a "handle" that other users would know me by.


I mean, I consider myself a fairly creative person and all, but I was stumped. Not only did I have to do that, but then I had to come up with a line, a pick up line, if you will, to pose to all the viewers out there.

That's right. A pick up line. I signed up on not one, but TWO online internet dating sites. (Ahem, the free ones....) All in the name of humour, really. What can it hurt? I might end up with some comedic conversation, and now I have an outlet to practise flirting.

Within moments of registering myself, I had messages popping up on my screen. Men who wanted to chat with me. They were sending me emails. They were winking at me.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was scared!!! I didn't know what to do!!!!!

So I shut my computer off.

And then I turned it back on. And logged in again.

I looked at the emails again, read the profiles of these potential courters. Some of them made me groan with the "eek, are you kidding me!?!?" while others made me laugh. I'd like to point out that not one made me feel giddy. Not that I was expecting to, but still, I just want you to know. I even answered to one, just for the hell of it.

On one site, I wrote my line as "This fish wants a bicycle" (yup, compliments to Heather over at This Fish). I'm just waiting for someone to clue into what I mean. It clearly does not mean I want to go fishing, as one gentleman was mistaken in thinking. Honestly. Women's lib? Anyone? Gloria Steinem? Irina Dunn?? C'mon......

Yeesh, how would Gloria and Irina feel about online dating sites? Oh dear, maybe I should unregister myself and throw the notion of a bicycle out the window.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Green Peace

The longer I dwell in the city, the more it seems that I crave the peace and quite of the country.

On a particularly glum day for me last week, I woke up early, put on my jeans and t-shirt, and got in my car. I did not put on my dress pants and blouse and ride the subway downtown, even though it was the middle of the week. No, I needed a moment's peace, and I knew exactly where I could find it. I pointed my car northwest and drove until the concrete disappeared behind me, and fields of green extended for kilometers upon kilometers.

What should have been a 2 1/2 hour drive home, found its way well past 3 hours.

When I was safely out of the city, away from the noise, traffic and smog, and I pulled my car over to the side of the road. The crunch of the gravel shoulder subsided as I rolled to a stop. Not another car in sight. I emerged from my car, and walked around the passenger's side. I sat down on the shoulder, and rested my head again the car door. Before me was a farm field as far as the eye could see. The wind blew gently, making the tall grasses bow and sway with a rhythm that was in sync with what my heart was looking for. The occasional car drove by, but I barely noticed. I stared out across the land, taking in deep breaths, closing my eyes from time to time. The sun was breaking through the clouds that were slowly dissipating, beaming down to warm my face.

This is peace. This is serenity. This is where I find my centre.

I stood up, took one last long look at the expansive meadow. The day seemed a bit brighter now; the drive before me less daunting. I knew now that I could make it.

I had found my green peace.