Thursday, March 29, 2007

A few of my favourite things

Besides raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, I have an immense love for fridge magnets and tea towels. When people visit exotic places (or just random other places) and they ask if I would like anything, my answer is always a tea towel or a magnet. Though sometimes I ask for candy because everyone loves candy.

Last night I went for tea with a friend of mine, who happened to give me my birthday present from herself and our friend Laura. They met up in Banff back in February and evidently bought my birthday present then. (Yippee!!) I am now the owner of the best tea towel ever made. It has a yellow screen over the whole thing with strategically placed coffee beans on it, and there is an image of a 1950's-esque lady holding a cup of coffee, with the statement: DRINK COFFEE! Do stupid things faster with more energy! I think you will all agree that is the best ever....

As for magnets, my favourite magnet comes from Thailand. My friend MJ went there a couple years ago, and lo and behold, could not find a magnet that said Thailand on it, or that had any specific symbol of Thailand. Guess the Thai people are not fridge magnet fans. She ended up getting me this ridiculous~but really cool~magnet of a plastic flower in a tiny ceramic pot. It's tacky and I love it.

My fridge is getting overloaded with magnets, and my tea towel drawer in the kitchen will barely close. But that won't stop me from collecting.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Two feet and a heartbeat

I have been the owner of compact car for 2 years now. And when I say owner, I mean the driver of a leased vehicle that plays all my favourite cd's. It's new, it's shiny, it's good on gas and it gets me everywhere I need to go.

I can't imagine life without it.

Before life with Roxy--yes, I named my car Roxy....she's a Pontiac Wave, Roxy was a natural name selection--I drove an old clunker, lovingly named Hot Donna. She was a 1993 Chev Cavalier; she was red, she was fast...she was great....I thought she was about to die and carelessly gave her away to the mechanic neighbour who then sold her to some kid up the road who can be seen flying down the back roads to this day. How foolish of me to give away the gem of a car my parents bought for me for $500. Woops. (I could sound spoiled to say 'my parents bought me a car' but was $500, and the original reason for purchase was not for me...just for my dad to mess around with it....and then it all worked out in my I'm not that spoiled, just lucky.)

Essentially, my entire life of independence, now officially spanning 3 1/4 years, (I count the 'official' time period as being when I finally stopped messing around with having fun and moved out of my parents home for year in Australia was a drinking and laughing binge...doesn't count as real independence since I left Oz early cause I ran out of moolah...) I have had in my possession a car. I have had the freedom that a car provides. It has been great.

My brother and sister, along with their spouses, are all carless. Furthermore, they are all driver's licenceless. Have I mentioned before that I am the youngest in the family? So it's not like they are young and haven't gotten around to it. They all depend on public transport to get around. On the one hand, I must give them props for the benefit to the environment they are providing. Though I know this is not a factor in why they don't drive. But on the other hand, I can't imagine how they survive!! Even the task of grocery shopping seems crazy to me without a car to bring it all home in. I guess that is why they both live in places near amenities. I live in an almost-suburbia area.

Being that I am the only kid with a car, a lot of responsibility and expecation falls on me. It is expected I will drive an hour to pick up my sister and her husband to attend family functions. It is expected that I will drive my brother and his wife and his kid home after family functions, even though he lives two hours from me. Simply because I am nice, I am responsible, I am a good sister, I am dependable.

I didn't know having a car made me dependable.

I guess it does. Should any family crisis occur big or small, I show up in my cute little car to aid my mother in her dire straits. Or any other family member for the matter.

I debate leaving the city where I live to move closer to my family members. Save my mileage--I do lease my car, let's get real. I could move to where my sister lives. But then I realise I would become her instant taxi driver. I can hear the requests now "Can we go shopping? Will you take me to the bank to pay some bills? Will you pick me up after work tomorrow?" This is not a pleasant thought for me. And she never gives me gas money, no matter how many times I ask. (I'm too diplomatic to demand the money....damn). So then I am left with moving more east of where she is, towards where my brother lives. To the midst of the hustle and bustle. It is where I grew up, but I'm not too sure I can handle it now. He would not take advantage of me living nearby (he always give me gas money) and would be delighted should I offer to take him somewhere. I should flip a coin on that one.

Perhaps I can just live out of my car. It might be compact, but it is pretty roomy. And with all my belongings in it, I would have a great excuse to never drive them anywhere: "I haven't any room!! Sorry!"

Or maybe they can all just get their driver's licences and rent vehicles for family functions and leave me alone.

Now that's a novel idea.

A touch less dramatic

Well, I have been 27 for 3 whole days (and then some) and I have not spontaneously combusted, nor been eaten alive by random wildlife. It appears my fears can be put to rest now. Just like every year, it really doesn't feel much different than the last.

And suprising, I think that my 27th birthday celebration was one of the best I've had in a long time. Nice and relaxed, surrounded by friends.

A good start to the year of doom.

Now let me reassess the doom issue and it will all be ok. It will be a year of natural progress...mostly good, just the regular amounts of doom, nothing over the top.

Much better.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Life shouldn't be like that

The irony of life never fails to astound me.

I'm a kid who doesn't watched the news becuase it is too depressing; and because I believe in the glamourization of the news and that they only tell us what they want, and how they want, to make us react in specific ways~but that is a whole other story. I read the news online~I pick and choose what I want to hear. I listen to what they announce on the radio and carry on with my day. The war in Iraq happens, and I let it pass me by. I stream a radio station from Sydney, Australia, and am fascinated by their news reports...they have such a different format from our typical news announcements, and their focus is a little left of ours.

A story that stuck in my head was that there is new legislation in the works in Australia that states that bouncers of bars and clubs are now to be held accountable for their actions. That if they are too aggressive and assault a patron of the establishment, they are to be fired, fined and charged. I thought to myself, hey, that's a good peice of legislation.

Here is the irony.

My brother was enjoying his St Patrick's day celebration in Mississauga, went to a house party and then carried on to a local pub. Upon leaving the pub, he got the shit kicked out of him by the bouncer and ended up in the hospital with such damage to his head that his brain was actually bleeding. He has no recollection of what happened. He was the last of his friends leaving the pub so no one really saw what happened, or more importantly, why it happened.

Bouncer claims my brother was yelling racial slurs at him.

My brother is no angel, but he's not dumb enough to say dirty words to a 300 lb bouncer, who is known in the neighbourhood to be excessively aggressive.

Now he gets to look forward to 3 months of doing nothing and being watched like a hawk in case he starts getting seizures.

Thank you Mr. Bouncer Man for being a total fuckwitt.

I am not familiar with our own legislation in regard to situation such as this. I don't know who gets held accountable. I know that the police have charged this guy with assault. But beyond that, who knows what his punishment will be. Likely a stern "don't do that again please."

Woo-hoo Canada. Way to stand up for the victims of crime in your nation. We love you too.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

The Weight of Friendship

So does it make you a bad friend for wanting to punch your friend right in the face? Or does it make that person a bad friend for being that fucking annoying?

I'd really like to know.

Friday, March 16, 2007

It really was Luck o' The Irish

Well, many of you will be overjoyed to know that I won the St Paddy's Day desk decorating contest at work. Yes, my office gets overenthusiastic about such holidays, and we host competitions. Often we have potluck too....and my jello was a big hit, incase you have been wondering.

I was left to my own devises for decorations this time around. All the dollar stores between work and home were out of St Paddy's decorations, even tried WalMart and Giant Tiger!! Nothing!!! So I put on my crazy thinking boots, and came up with the following:

One giant rainbow made from construction paper
One 'pot of gold' ~ really, it was a kitchen pot full of yellow tinsel and golden baby potatoes ('cause that is just too funny!)
One box of Lucky Charms (I couldn't resist)
One Irish flag
One Blarney Stone ~ otherwise known as a rock my roommate keeps in her room
One toy snake
One print out on the history of Saint Patrick
A bunch of pictures of clovers
A green sheet to put it all on

It looks pretty spectacular, if I must say so myself!! Those judges were not captivated or fooled by the glitz and glamour of the other coworkers desks who acutally found decorations at the store. Creativity beats them all!!! And there was an educational value too, as I informed the judges about St Patrick and why we celebrate him.

You know....I get told on a regular basis that I am one of a kind.

I don't know if that is always a good thing.....


Thursday, March 15, 2007

I don't know you, but I like you anyway

Yesterday I was chatting with my friend Julia (she's the fab friend who introduced me to blogging) and she passed on some sites of other bloggers. And I must say, there are some pretty hilarious people out there!!!!! I was secretly dying of laughter in my cubicle reading the ironic events of lives of people I just don't know.

But now...I feel I know them a little. I can relate to the girl who hates the guy who sits beside her at work (though I suspect he moved away...lucky her); I can also relate to the girl who gave her cat a shoe box, and who found her "personal crazy" one day on the subway. Always nice to know you are not alone in the world when it comes to things like this.

Other than Julia and the receptionist at work, Jody, I haven't really passed out my blog site for my friends to read. I think I want some time to build up my blogging skills before I expose my antics and anecdotes to those I know (but feel free, strangers, to read away....after all, what is the point of blogging if no one is going to read it? I can only hope that you will come across it and enjoy it so much like I did with the ones I read yesterday, and that something in here is funny to you...)

So, I guess I will carry on reading about the random lives of other people, and giggle to myself at work in hopes that no one is watching me. After have to find some way to amuse yourself at work. Taking calls from whiners just doesn't cut it for me.....hahaha!

Back to pretending to do work.....bye!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Me and Saint Patrick, helping the masses

Ok, so true to my word, I found out the glory of Saint Patrick.

He was the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland who is credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland.

What a nice fellow!

He is also known for chasing all the snakes out of Ireland. Now really, as Ireland is an island that was seperated from the continent during the Ice Age, chances of snakes ever exisiting on the island is pretty slim (much like New Zealand--love that place!) Hence, the 'snakes' are merely a representation of pagan folk and beliefs, as many pagan cultures worshipped symbols of snakes. So....with conforming many pagans to Christianity, he got rid of the snakes.

And as for March 17, this is the day that is believed that he died. The Irish celebrate the good deeds he performed through religious observance and jovial celebration. This has been turned into green beer.

God Bless the Irish (well....and everyone else too!!)


PS...I found all this on It's actually a pretty cool site, full of neat info! :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

It's the Luck o' the Irish

With only four more days until St Paddy's day, I am already planning A) the dish I will bring to work on Friday for the St Patrick's day potluck B) the green outfit I will wear to work on Friday that is still work-worthy as our Board of Directors are coming to our office (eek) and C) the ridiculous outfit I will wear out on the real St Patty's day to the bar in Listowel (hee hee hee...see, I am behaving like I am 20, solid evidence right there).

My mom~being a Scottish lady and proud of it~says in disdain "I'm Scottish! Why would I celebrate St Patrick's day!?!?!?" and scowls when I say "But mom.....everyone is Irish on St Paddy's day!" She just doesn't get it. And she fails to remember that somewhere along the way, my Grandpa's heritage does have Irish in it. Not that this is my excuse to drink mass quanities of beer with green food colouring in it. After all, I am just one more person in the line who really has no idea what St Patrick's day is all about~I just want the green beer and to have a cute boy kiss me 'cause I'm Irish. (Oh, I think my great gran on my mom's side is spinning in her grave. As my grandma says to this day, she was spinning the day I was baptised Catholic....)

And now that I think about it, my nan on my dad's side was Irish. There we go.....I can officially be a proud member of the Irish folk. And my brother-in-law is Irish, so that must count for something too. Please line up the green beer.

I feel that in the next four days, I should read up on why the Irish (and so many other folk) celebrate St Patrick's day. Yup, this is how I'll kill some time between now and then.

And PS....I'm bringing in green and orange jello for potluck. After all....the theme is green.


Thursday, March 8, 2007

Smart Advice

Ok...advice to anyone who reads this. And really, it is just common sense.

If you ever sign a contract for the details on it. Ask about the contract terms and conditions.

If you ever sign a contract for advertising...not only should you read the details, but you should NEVER sign off on an artwork submission sheet that has nothing on it!! Because if you do that, you are saying to that company they have free reign over the creation of your ad. If you have specific things you want to have to tell them. They won't magically guess.

Honestly people. Don't sign off on a blank sheet and the later on bitch about how the ad is not what you wanted. If you are dumb enough to do that, you deserve an ad you don't like.


Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Letter Number Two comes another customer service letter that I can not send out to a client (but I wish I could)

Dear Customer;

Please accept our apologies for not comiserating with you that you hired a pompous ass.

The contract for the advertisement that appears in the current directory may not have been signed by yourself, however, it was signed by an employee of yours who not only told our sales rep, but our sales manager as well, that he was indeed a signing authority of your company. Research into this matter has shown that your signature appears on the payment forms included with the contract, hence, your statement that you were not aware of this contract has now been proved as false.

In addition, your claim that the phone number is not directed to your business, but to your now-ex-employee's new business is total bullshit. Not only have I dailed this number and reached you, but so has our sales manager.

Your attempts to not have to pay for this contract are admiral. You certainly know how to put up a good argument. However, you should put this effort towards your ex-employee, not our company because we are giving you shit for this situation.

Have a very nice day. I know I will.

Customer Service

Ahhhh.....and now I will write the real letter and send it will be much nicer. I promise.


Friday, March 2, 2007

Impending Doom

It's coming any day now. Actually, it's coming in 23 days. My 27th birthday. Yikes. It is like this dark cloud that is rolling in, and instead of being full of rain, it's full of TOO MANY BIRTHDAY CANDLES!!!! A blazing glory...oh wait, not glory....a blazing inferno that reminds me I should stop behaving like I'm 20.

Really, who worries about being 27? Turning 30 and freaking out, I can understand. But 27? Just weirdos like me, I guess (and as it turns out....some of my friends! Ah ha! So I am not alone in this panic-stricken moment!!). My brother is turning 29 tomorrow--he says today is his last day of being young! Lol!! So is he freaking out too, or just trying to be funny....? Damn these days that pass too fast.

Back to 27. Focus on me. Screw my brother and his moment of EEK! You know that age you had when you were a kid of when you thought your life would be all in order...well 27 was my age. Actually, I lie. First it was 25. But when I was 21 I upped it to 27 in an attempt to be realistic. And now 27 is staring me down like a giant bull elephant who is contemplating picking me up with his trunk and throwing me into the crocodile infested watering hole. (Do you love the image of that? Just think about the little birds that hang out on the butts of the hippos who are also floating in the water....oh wait, do hippos and crocodiles hang out together? Would the crocs not eat the hippos? Where is Steve Irwin when I need him??? Oh right, in heaven, where I will be when the crocs get me...).

Reality. I need to focus on reality. There are plenty of folks who have turned 27 and did not spontaneously combust or get eaten alive by crocodiles. (In fact, I think it would be safe to say, almost everyone who has turned 27 has not faced these problems). Plenty of folks who are 27 are not married, work in jobs they hate, make enough money to get by and not much else, and drink excessive amounts of beer. So really, I should stop freaking out and realize that life is what I make it, and just because I don't have the things I thought I would have by's not the end of the world.

Nah...I like the drama and I really do like the complain. It keeps things exciting. So....27--impending doom--I'm putting out flyers on this.


Who knew....

Hmmm.....just set this up. First thing first, I would like to compose the customer service letter I can not send to a customer:

Dear client;

Please accept our sincere apologies that you are a tool and did not supply our company with your new phone number to appear in your advertisement in time. Previous conversations with you have indicated that you were aware of the number change well in advance to the publication of your ad, and infact, received an advertising proof where you did not indicate this required change.

However, as I am a sucker, I would like to advise you that we are crediting your account 20% of your contract value.

If you feel this is not a fair assessment to your situation, go suck balls. Do not call me, as I will be busy sticking a pen in my eye.

Best regards,

Customer Service.

Hahaha!!!! That would be too funny. Ok, I feel better now and can write a nice letter to this customer and not call him a tool.

Well....I will do my best to write funny blogs. I feel like I am an internet genius now that my friend told me how to do this.

Later skater!