Friday, June 29, 2007

140 Years Later

Canada Day is just two days around the corner, and I still haven't bought my red and white face paint. What am I thinking??

I could do the typical Melissa thing here and brief out Canadian history for you, and why July 1st is the day we chose to celebrate it.....but I'm not feeling that vibe today.

Instead I've got this for you.

My lazy ass has been slowly drinking beer for a while now, buying a random case here, a random case there. And not once have I had the gumption to return an empty case. Now I have three cases stacked neatly beside my fridge, and 5 cases stacked neatly by my front door. Every week I look at them and think, hey....I should return those. And even more, The Beer Store has recently decided that they will accept empty wine bottles too. You can imagine how many of those I have to return too.

I've decided that my present to Canada is to return those bottles. It feels like they've been sitting in my apartment for the whole 140 years that Canada has been Canada. I suspect my roommate will be relieved to see them gone. This afternoon, my mission is to return them.

Being the somewhat self-conscious girl that I am, I am not prepared to take this mission alone. I cringe at the thought of taking those empty eight cases into The Beer Store all by my lonesome, and have folks look at me and say to themselves "Holy crap, she's a lush..." ~Mind you, it will be mostly men in there, and they likely would either not notice at all, or grin at the thought of a girl like me drinking all that beer. It's not like there will be old biddies in there whispering to each other and praying to the good lord above to save my soul and my liver.~ So I have volunteered Sophie to join me at The Beer Store. I've just informed her via email. I'm picking her up after work today, and since I'm the one driving the car, she can't get out of it. But I just might reward her with some Keith's. She won't turn that down.

So Happy Birthday Canada. I'll recycle, reduce, reuse for you today.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Worst Friend Ever

I really am one of those friends who forgets to call her friends. I let people drift to the wayside, but remain faithful in the thought that we are still friends. No one has really seemed to stop being my friend due to this, so I must thank them.

Insert sudden thought: Hey!! I don't call them often, but it's not like they are calling me either!! We are all jerks who take our friendships for granted.

Prime example of this is my friend Dayna. We met the summer after I graduated university. Well, technically, we met way before then, but we didn't actually become friends until that point. She had dated one of my friends back in high school, and lived in the next town over. While away at uni, my folks moved to the next town over. That summer, we both waitressed at the local bar & grill, Gillies. (Might I recommend their garlic bread with cheese and the spinach salad...mmmm.) And thus, a friendship was born.

Then I moved to Australia. She moved to London (Ontario....not England...). I moved back home about a year later, and eventually made my way down to London. I was pretty pumped to have a ready-made friend in town once I moved there. But do you think we actually hang out that often? Do you think we remember to call each other? Hell no! I've been here for over 3 and a half years, and we've probably only hung out a dozen or so times. And she really is my only friend from home that lives here.

The weird thing is, is that so much time will pass and I start saying to myself, "Jeez, I should call Dayna soon and see what's going on with her." And within the next few days, she will end up calling me before I have the chance to pick up the phone and call her. It's like I send out a vibe right to her, and she gets it and calls!! Really, how weird is that?!?! It's just one of those bizarre things that happen in my life that I deem as normal.

So....Dayna called me last weekend, got my answering machine. And now we've been playing phone tag since then. I sure hope we catch up before I blow this popstand at the end of the summer!! Because let's be honest. If I move 2 hours away from here, I'll see her even less, and call her less. If you're not in my face, or my mind draws nothing. I am such a bad friend.

Whose not evil?? Whose not evil??? MEEEEEEE!!!!

I had always suspected I was a good kid. Now I've got evidence of that. Phew, can't wait to tell my mom...

You Are 70% Pure
You're pretty pure, and you have no plans on changing that.You do have a devilish side though... and it will probably get the better of you.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

For Pete's Sake

It never fails.

White shirt, blue pen.

How do I manage to write on my clothes so often?????


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Huntin' Season

Buck n' Doe Season is midway through. And I haven't really been to all that many of them yet this year. Which is a shame, because really, throwing a few dollars towards someone's wedding instead of lining the pocket of a bar owner isn't all that bad of thing to do.

And those Bucks usually have at least one fine looking friend or family member who has come out to show support too. Another reason why it's a shame to miss out on them, haha!!

Last weekend I was in Walkerton, and my friends and I went out to a Buck n' Doe, held at the Knights of Columbus centre. And you know that musty smell you often associate with old folks?? Well, that is how it smelled. Kinda gross. Just made us drink up faster so our olfactory senses would be lessened.

But in all sincerity, it was a great time. Lots of room to sit around and chat with friends, lots of room on the dance floor to bust a move, and never ending bowls of popcorn~and not the microwave kind, SmartFood popcorn!! And of course, relatively cheap drinks. I didn't win any of the door prizes and such, but I didn't know the couple, so really, I would feel bad for taking a prize.

My brother and Jen have set their buck n' doe (or as they call it, their Stag n' Doe) for August. Should be a good time. I don't really know what kinds of games and prizes they have organized for it yet, but I'm in the midst of convincing them to have a Rock-Paper-Scissor tournament, and call it the Five Knuckle Shuffle!! Haha!! I hope they do it!

I took this picture of them this past weekend, and I am also trying to convince them to use it for the Buck n' Doe. It's so sweet. This is probably the only time my brother will don a cowboy hat, even if it is only a straw one.

My brother says that his buck n' doe will be so great, that from now on, they will be called Mike n' Jens.....hahaha, we'll see!!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Too Much Sharing

I feel I must share 5 things with you...

1. We got new hand soap in the washrooms at work, and it smells like those fabric bandaids. Yuck.

2. I just finished a delicious lunch (spinach and ricotta panzerotti from Angelo's, mmmm) and am now full. I was talking to Jody at the front desk, rubbing my belly to edge out a tiny burp, and my manager watched me do it. Kind of embarrassed.

3. The accounting manager walked into the windowpane beside her door this morning because she was busy chatting....hehehhee.

4. I think someone at work has fleas because every now and then during the workday, my legs get itchy and I find little bites up and down my legs. These bites are not there in the morning when I get out of bed. (Dear lord, I hope they don't have crabs.....but no one seems to be itching there.)

5. Last week, I stood up at my desk and did not realize my chair rolled back a bit when I did. I sat back down, missed the chair and landed flat on my ass on the floor. And then I could not stand back up because I was giggling so hard. No one saw it, but I told them all anyways.

It's nice to share :)

Fornication Friday

I've been signed into my blog for nearly an hour now. Trying to think of what to post. While it's Friday, and I want it to be a 'Fornication Friday', work has been interrupting that plan.

(Well, that's what I get for trying to screw off at work....)

Perhaps I can give tips on how to have your own Fornication Friday. Not that I am a pro at faking work or anything, and my office is pretty lax, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

1. If you are one for idle chatter with co-workers, I recommend printing random reports to the printer, so you have an excuse to stand up and walk away from your desk. Upon retrieving the documents, examine them closely with a stony face, look up and walk over to the coworker you wish to gossip with. While chattering away, randomly wave the paper, point at it, and try not to laugh at the joke she just told you.

2. If you have call display on your phone, turn your ringer off. If a call comes through from someone you HAVE to talk to, you will know by the number or extension that shows on the call display. Otherwise, turn the ringer on your phone to the lowest setting, and pick and choose when you answer. If no one directly around you knows you are not taking the calls, who can give you trouble for it? If it's someone who needs you immediately, they will leave a vm, and you can just say you were either on another call, or in the middle of a report or something.

3. Spread out lots of paperwork, books, what-have-you across your desk. Have document in front of you at all times that makes it look like you are referring to it while on the computer.

4. If you are meandering around the office, always have an answer prepared for what you are doing away from your desk. I.E., looking for the office manager because you have a question about something, looking for a ruler, trying to track down some original paperwork. You get the drift. That way when you are goofing off in the I.T. room, you won't get in trouble. Computer trouble is a likely reason to be talking to the guy in I.T. And if you had to work on my computer, you would know that weird things happen to my computer a lot so it is believable.

Ok so it turns out I don't have that many tips as I thought. Give me a break.

Hope you are all having a great Friday!!!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

He said he was a cowboy, but his Sean John shirt said otherwise.

If you might recall, I love beer. But what I love more than plain ol' beer, is drinking beer outside at a Beer Tent.

This past weekend was the Milverton Rodeo. It's part of the Dodge Rodeo Tour. I love going to the rodeo, but not to see the buckin' bronco's or the enormous bulls. I never make it in time to see the competitions, to hear the whinnies in the background, to see those men try for 8 seconds.

No. I'm a poser. I go to the rodeo after 9pm to go to the after parties. I go for the beer and to look for strapping men whose muscles might ripple along their shirt sleeves. To look for a man who might want to show me how to two-step.

(I'm not a very coordinated dancer....I bow my head with shame.)

There is just something about the dusty ground and cement floor of a pavilion, the sea of cowboy hats, and the semi-warm beer that makes me want to drive an hour out of town. There is something about drunk guys who tip their hat and flash a wicked grin my way. There is something amusing in creating fake names for myself and my friends, and telling these lies to perfect strangers with a big grin on my face (I'm kind of like that.).

Really, who would believe that my name is Betty, and my brunette friend is Veronica, and that we come from Riverdale? Who would believe that I have a kind-of-boyfriend named Archie, though I think he has the hots for Veronica, and we fight about it sometimes? Who would believe my tall friend over there is Moose, and that is his girlfriend Midge? You would not believe how many guys fall for this story. And those who say, "if he's you're kind-of-boyfriend, does that mean we can dance?" Just kidding, they don't say that.... But they don't always clue in. So then I walk away laughing and they don't know why. But I stick around and chat to those who say "Betty? Really??? I'm Archie!!!"

Enough of my lies. Back to my point. Milverton Rodeo. This was my first Milverton Rodeo. I've been to other rodeos in the past, but I have to say, this was the best one. My roomie Erin was right, it was as good as Christmas. Maybe even better.

I'm sad to announce I will not be attending the Exeter Rodeo. It's the same day as my brother's buck'n'doe down in Mississauga. Sigh.....those city kids better know what a buck'n'doe is all about, or this kid is gonna cause a ruckus. But I'm hoping to make it to St Marys Beer Tent next month...anyone want to come????

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

When the internet attacks!

My own little world at work is slowly dissolving. All those things I have been doing to keep myself sane during 9-5 are being taken away.

First of all, my internet best friend left her job for green pastures and now does not have daily access to the internet. I've already blogged about this to no end. But now....all internet chat programs are officially banned from our work computers. (Ok, fair enough, I should not be on msn chatting with my friends, I should be doing work. Oh wait....I can blog instead.)

Not that this company wide ban is my fault or anything, but there was an incident that sprouted from my computer that spurred the decision (Thanks, Jen.....hahahah, just kidding!!). I guess our offices have been getting infected a lot lately with viruses that are coming through programs like msn and such. On Friday, I was attacked, and in turn, sent it out to my coworkers.


I guess it kind of ate through things on the weekend, and yesterday, our IT Department announced no more msn....sigh. Oh well, I'm surprised that we have been able to use it this long anyways.

BUT!!! For the record, this happened to me around noon. At 11:00am on Friday, our office manager in Windsor called IT with a complain about a virus on her computer. Ironically, it was the same virus I got hit with. So's not just me.

I think it's actually kind of funny....

Friday, June 15, 2007

100 things about...Sophie

Yes folks. One hundred things about my friend Sophie. I was joking around and telling her how hard it was to come up with 100 things to post about myself. That it took me practically four days to do it.

She showed me up and wrote 100 things about herself in half a day. You might be wonder who the hell Sophie is....well, now you can find out.

1. I am writing 100 things about me to prove to Melissa that I can.
2. My name is Sophie.
3. Very few people can pronounce my last name correctly.
4. I was born in Bristol, England.
5. I live in Canada.
6. I am one quarter Polish.
7. I will be living in Slovakia next year.
8. I graduated from UWO with distinction.
9. I have a cat named Charles.
10. I love indian food.
11. I suffer from allergies (pollen).
12. I have blue eyes.
13. I have one older sister.
14. There is only one Chantal Kreviazuk song that I can listen to, and I love it.
15. I have met the prettiest boy in the world.
16. Relocating is in my blood.
17. I love wearing pink.
18. I don't need you to tell me I have pale skin as I am very aware of it.
19. I like playing soccer.
20. I have never watched a whole hockey game.
21. I will always dance to Michael Jackson and Madonna.
22. I am great at spending a long time at the pub.
23. I still cannot make pierogis.
24. In fact, I'm pretty bad at cooking anything.
25. I write lists, most of which are more useful than this one.
26. I like to be organized (hence the lists).
27. I frequently use the word "mania".
28. I get pumpy heart. A lot.
29. I appreciate those who understand the symptoms and consequences of pumpy heart.
30. "The House of Rising Sun" is one of my favourite songs.
31. "Play that funky music white boy" is another.
32. "Bend it Like Beckham" is my favourite movie.
33. I don't care that Beckham has a ridiculous voice.
34. I find it funny when people think I'm Australian.
35. I also find it funny when people think I'm South African.
36. I often think people are stupid because of this.
37. My favourite job, so far, has been at the Credit Union.
38. I have no significant other, which is just as well, because otherwise I might not leave.
39. I miss the castles, cathedrals and countryside in the UK.
40. I have never been to Ireland even though I lived so close.
41. However, I grew up with mainly Irish and Italian families because I went to a Catholic Primary school.
42. I used to play the drums.
43. Soon I will be an English teacher.
44. I just went from blond to brunette.
45. I wear contact lenses.
46. I can be incredibly opinionated, but also incredibly passive.
47. I like to write.
48. I am loyal.
49. Impatient.
50. I get frustrated easily.
51. I have been a vegetarian since I was about 8.
52. I want to go back to Newfoundland.
53. Prague and Paris are my favourite cities.
54. I find it funny when people call London, ON the "big city"'s also quite funny that it's called "Forest City" since they are cutting down all the trees and building ugly houses.
55. I do not know if I will return to live here.
56. My favourite form of transportation is the train.
57. I have only seen the Rockies in winter.
58. I like 19th Century poetry.
59. I am beginning to think Melissa was right.
60. My middle name is Alexandra.
61. I hate writing on paper if there is not at least two more sheets underneath it.
62. I am not a fan of driving.
63. I wish I lived in a city with good public transport.
64. My grandparents thought I looked liked Winston Churchill when I was a baby.
65. I may go to Spain for Christmas.
66. I love my new sunglasses.
67. O'Reilley's is my favourite bar in the country. The Brass Door is a close second.
68. I love taking pictures.
69. I wish I had a picture of the Germans we met in Banff.
70. I can speak some French and some Spanish.
71. I know the days of the week in Slovak but cannot pronounce Thursday.
72. I dislike Nickelback. As does my father.
73. The best concert I ever went to was Jonny Lang.
74. I have been to many other shows.
75. I wish I didn't burn in the sun.
76. I can no longer drink straight tequila.
77. I have no interest in going on a resort holiday.
78. I like dogs.
79. I am more patriotic when I am not in the country.
80. I have never met anyone with the same birthday as me.
81. I was born in the middle of the eighties.
82. Eye make-up completely changes my face.
83. I am dedicated to whatever I am studying.
84. But, at the same time, I lose interest in things very quickly.
85. I am surprised at how girly I have become.
86. I often laugh at inappropriate things.
87. I don't like leaving messages on voicemail.
88. I am really bad at buying shoes.
89. But I really like them.
90. The skirts I wear are often too short.
91. I was disappointed in my philsophy of witchcraft class.
92. I love meeting people and making new friends.
93. I am very selfish.
94. Iris Chang's "The Rape of Nanking" made me cry.
95. I have a scar on my ankle.
96. I am the Queen of Carbombs, while Melissa is the jester.
97. I love cheese.
98. I still have four grandparents.
99. I like wearing halternecks.
100. Apparently, I am successful in spending too much time thinking about myself and writing this list.

Can it be? He's prettier than me?

You know those guys who are just so pretty, they could make you cry?

(So pretty, they could also make you do things you normally wouldn't do in public places?)

Last night I saw the prettiest boy in the world. Sophie talked to him. I just stared at him and smiled.

He is a friend to our friend Laura. Laura has moved away to BC, and from the few times we've met him before Laura left, Sophie got to know him a bit more, and can call him her friend now. I, on the other hand, suffer from that embarrassing disease where I can't think of anything but awkward comments to say to guys, which forces me to walk away with that shocked look on my face, my hand on my forehead, and muttering to myself "I can't believe I said that". (Much like Baby when she said "I carried a watermelon".) (This is also why I'm single.) Hence, he is not my friend. Though I have been in on hilarious conversations between him and Sophie in the past. And by this, I mean I have stood with them with a drink in hand while they chat.

But back to my point.

He. Is. The. Prettiest. Boy. In. The. World.

If it wasn't creepy, I'd take his picture and post it up here. But I think you all agree....creeeeepy.

He's got that slim, lean physique that makes a girl like me fall over. Though he's short. Very chatty. (Not particularly chatty to me though. Damn.) I think he's only a year younger than I am (if I can recall the night when I DID speak to him, and demanded to see his ID because I didn't believe him when he told me this. I thought he was a lot younger. Yes, we were drunk.), which is totally ok for dating. Hahaha.

Oh my goodness, I can't stop thinking about how pretty he is. Seriously, if you saw him'd agree.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Damn the Man

For the record, I found out the cute sales guy is married. He's got a wedding ring on.

Oh well. Who wants to date someone in sales anyway. I already learned my lesson with that in January.

On to the next.

Monday, June 11, 2007

65 Things about me (because I could not think of 100 things)

1. My name is Melissa (but you probably already knew that).

2. I have two middle names.

3. And a ridiculously long last name.

4. So long, that when I sign my signature, I shorten it to 'Mac'.

5. I went to Wilfrid Laurier University, in Waterloo, Ontario.

6. I was born in Alliston, Ontario, but I don't think my family actually lived there.

7. My family has moved nearly 20 times, and I have kept the trend going living by myself.

8. No we were not an army family.

9. I like to joke that my mom was running from the law.

10. One time, someone believed me, so I decided I had better stop making that joke.

11. My parents are divorced, both have been remarried two other times.

12. You know what they say....the third time is the charm ;)

13. My dad lives in Cartagena, Colombia.

14. I don't think he is running from the law, but if he gets in with the wrong circles in Colombia, he just might.

15. I live in Southwestern Ontario.

16. I lived in Australia for 9 months.

17. I got homesick and missed my mom, so I didn't make it the full year.

18. I also ran out of money....hence the missing my mom who could take care of me part.

19. I travelled there with my wonderful friend Mary Jane who now lives in northern BC.

20. I bought my first car in Australia, and named her Alice~after Alice from the Brady Bunch, who was a steady and reliable character, much what we wanted in a car.

21. My grandpa thought that I named it Alice after his mother. I didn't tell him otherwise.

22. I have an older brother, Mike, and an older sister, Nicole.

23. Mike is getting married this September, Nicole has been married for 3 years.

24. I just realised right now that I missed her anniversary, which was on June 5. Oops. Better call her.

25. My brother had a kid out of wedlock, but I think God has forgiven him and he won't be going to hell.

26. His kid's name is Olivia, that's her pic that is always up on my page.

27. I'm currently teaching her to say "REDRUM" and wiggle her index finger a la The Shining.

28. I suspect I might be going to hell for teaching my niece to make fun of murder.

29. My sister does not have kids, which makes her sad.

30. My brother asked my sister and Brian to be Olivia's Godparents. That made her happy.

31. Evidently, I have a nice brother.

32. I currently work for a telephone directory, in customer relations.

33. I actually really hate it. People annoy the pee out of me. So I am looking for a new job. Thank heavens.

34. And in looking for a new job, I am going to be moving in a couple months.

35. I will miss my roommate, Erin, but I am looking forward to moving in with my friend Jen.

36. I will actually be moving back to where I grew up.

37. I have never broken any bones, but I had my nose fractured in grade nine gym class by a golf club~it didn't break, it just bent.

38. It really hurt, and I had to wear a nose cast for most of the summer.

39. Ironically, my friend Kristen, who was careless enough to swing the club and not look to see where I was standing, stopped talking to me after that happened.

40. I wasn't even mad at her. I still don't know why she did that.

41. I am running out of things to tell you about myself. I'll start at the beginning.

42. My parents divorced when I was a baby.

43. My Grandparents helped my mom raise my sister, brother and I. We lived with them for a few years when we were really young.

44. I had a bunny rabbit named Hoppy. He was black, and nibbled on the legs of the chairs.

45. I had to give up Hoppy when my mom remarried, because Don had two cats, and he thought the cats would attack the bunny.

46. I was sad, but I gave him to my friend Trina who had a bunny already, which made me happy.

47. I later found out I could have kept Hoppy, because I got a hamster, and the cats were fine with it. Damn adults.

48. My hamster's name was Starr. She was pregnant when I got her. We didn't know that.

49. My grandpa is a crafty man, he made the hamster cage--it had two floors.

50. So crafty, that most of my furniture in my apartment has been made by him. And for the matter, much of the furniture in my grandparents house too. Not so much at my mom's anymore, she's passed that down to my sister. For some reason, my brother does not have much furniture made by grandpa.

51. My grandpa is a cabinetmaker by trade. But he started off in bricklaying in England. He has outfitted several jewellery stores in the major shopping centres around Toronto. Although, I suspect by now, several of those are closed or have been remodelled.

52. My grandma worked in a bakery. After 25 years, they gave her a gold bangle, which she gave to me a couple years ago.

53. Among my bizarre talents, I boast that I can legibly write with my toes.

54. I can also twist my tongue in crazy fashions.

55. I have never been able to make myself burp. For some reason, this saddens me.

56. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue (woo-hoo!!). (Kind of goes with the twisting my tongue in weird ways thing).

57. I can make fabulous skirts from old pairs of jeans. I'm considering making up a pile and selling them. I'll keep you posted on that if I do!!

58. I also make one mean grilled cheese.

59. I love to eat cheese more than perhaps is normal.

60. My roommate Erin potentially loves cheese more than I do. And then she eats it all and doesn't tell me she's finished it. And then when I want a cheese sandwich....I can't have one.

61. I also love avocados more than the average person. I put it on everything I can. Well, everything within reason.

62. This was supposed to be 100 things about me. But I've run out of things to say.

63. So now it's only going to be 65.

64. It's actually Thursday today. It has taken me since Monday to come up with this many things. If was still aiming for 100....this post would never be!!

65. Last, but not least, I hate washing the dishes.

Mother Nature has PMS


Is it just me, or has anyone else thought about how weird the weather is. Did anyone else wonder about the fact that there were severe rainstorms the world over this past weekend?

Massive rains and some severe flooding in India, China, Taiwan, eastern Australia, Canada~both in BC and in Ontario, parts of Europe, Iran, Bangladesh. All that is missing is the US, Africa, and South America really. Unless I didn't get those newsflashes.

It disturbs me to think that we are the ones causing all of this. Yes, I am a firm believer that the human race will destruct the planet, that it will come through the form of severe environmental changes. We are jerks.

Let's just hope I'm wrong. But I'm not wrong very often.....just kidding.

I love the planet. Let's all be friends to the environment. Please.

I must, I must, I must

I must work on having positive thoughts about my coworkers.

I must stop asking myself "Do we have anyone who can actually read in our production department??"

I must stop calling them morons.

I must start respecting the work they do, as they have a very high work load to deal with, and that accounts for the errors.

I must stop calling them idiots.

Either that, or I must find a new job.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Call of the week: Driver's Ed

It never fails. At least one call comes through that qualifies to be shared each week. This week, I would like to call it "Driver's Ed".

It seems that a business had just been delivered their new telephone directory. A gentleman dropped off a couple, and went back to his car. Out front of the building is a parking lot with ample space. Plenty of room to turn your car around in, the caller says. But this gentleman chose a different way. He backed his car up right where he was. He backed up into the pond on their front lawn.

That's right. Backed up into the pond.

Now he didn't get too far into the pond before he realised what he had done. Rather, just along the edge. And then he kind of got stuck in the pond. He spun his wheels in his attempts to get out of the pond. Sent some rocks flying, showered pond water about. TORE THE POND LINER.

He got out of the pond. He did not go back into the business to apologise. He just left!! Can you believe that?!?!? He damaged their property and left. What did he think, that this would not catch up to him? That the business would not call it in to let us know?? Silly fool....they always call....

So...should you ever drive into someone's pond.....maybe you should go in and apologise. I mean, I know you would feel like an ass for doing it in the first place, but it just might save your ass in the long run.

Bend It

I could sit here and type that I am coming along in my soccer skills, and that I will be the next Mia Hamm in no time at all.

I could.

But that would be too much of a lie.

I will, however, note that my soccer skills are coming along and I am doing much better than last year! This season, my goal is to perfect my kick~to actually boot the ball hard enough that it goes flying up in the air and quite a ways down the the field.

My pansy chicken legs and clumsy feet often lead to short kicks that the balls skims across the surface of the field. Eek.

Practise last night proved otherwise, and I was hard to contain my glee!! We were practising corner kicks, and with each successive shot I had, the higher and farther it went. I felt like a superstar.

The coach we had last year is not coaching for us this year. His work schedule has changed or something. For a kid who hadn't played soccer since elementary school, I think I did pretty well last year, and that I learned a lot from him. This year, one of our own players, has stepped up to act as coach for our practises. She coaches her son's little league team. (Hehehe...I bet they could beat us...) She's focusing on different things this year that what Rob did. He was more about rules and stuff, where she is more about strategy. It's kind of cool to combine the two, remembering what he told us and mixing it in with what Deb's got going on.

Last night, a new player to our team was having trouble with her corner kicks, and she asked for tips. No one offered any, so I opened my mouth and offered advice that Rob had given me last year~just try it from a different angle. It's kind of wierd, at practise, when the heat is not on, I can remember all the rules, I don't panic as soon as I get the ball, my shots are good. I can convey it teammate apparently and help them out! But when I'm on the field in the game, all that goes to hell...I forget what is what and just kick. But I am trying to put more conscious effort looking around and taking the time I have. Ahhhh...we'll see how it goes.

Maybe I'll be the next Mia Hamm. Maybe I'll perfect my kick. Maybe I'll be able to bend it like Beckham.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The Power of Suggestion

Ok. So now that Yvonne has said to me "that sales rep is cute" I can't stop thinking that yes, she is right. He is cute. And I am wondering if he is single. And what sort of senario I can plan to accidentally run into him outside of work. I know he lives in my neighbourhood. I wonder if he goes to the pub there. This could be interesting. I need to investigate.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Scrap that

I like to tell stories. I like to make people laugh. I like to dig into my tickle trunk and pull out random funnies just for the hell of it.

Here goes. (I hope you laugh. Without my gesticulations and such, I'm sure it's not as good a story as I like to think.)

One fine evening in December 2002, my friend Mary Jane and I were strolling along the streets of Brisbane's downtown. (Ok, we were staggering. We were bar hopping.) We ran into our friend Simon, who had just left his Christmas party. He's pretty swank, so he was all suited up in a tux. He was also incredibly drunk~much more drunk than MJ or I. We caroused to a couple more bars, indulged in a few more beers. It was a nice time.
George St. is the home to some scrap metal kangaroos. Less than a block away is a pub whose name fails to be remembered by me. (Do you see where I am going here?) We had some beers there, got hungry and went on a search for some street meat. Luckily, there was a vendor nearby. Unlucky for the kangaroo, we ended up right next to him.
I will never be able to forget what happened next. Simon crouched down in his tux, pet the kangaroo, and started to feed him his hotdog. After a moment, Simon thought better of this. He took a few more bites, finished the hotdog, but had some bun left over. He placed the rest of the bun in the kangaroo's hand.
Now, Simon is not the first to do this. It is no big surprise to find on a Saturday or Sunday morning any of these scrapmetal kangaroos holding pieces of food or wrappers. Sometimes there are bits hanging out of their mouths.
Mostly funny, but a little upsetting for the guy who made them. Maybe. Hopefully he thinks it's funny too ;)

When Doors Open

Last week, my grandfather had a stroke. He's doing quite well now--back at home, shuffling around the house as he usually does. My grandmother was quite upset, as to be expected. She kept telling me the story of how she and my grandfather met. Though I've heard it dozens of times, I always like to hear it again. Stories from my grandmother's life in Scotland are rarely heard. She mostly tells about life after meeting my grandfather and moving to England to be with him. Every now and then, a secret comes out that just breaks my heart.

This weekend, she told me about how her father died. I had always assumed he had lived a ripe life, and died of natural causes. He lived long enough that he reached an age to have 12 children, and to be receiving a pension of sort from the government. His cheque had come in the mail, and he left the house to go to the bank to cash it. The milkman had just delivered the milk, and he offered my great-grandfather a drive down the road. He gratefully accepted the ride. As they were coming around a bend, a delivery truck of bottles was headed towards them, and it lost control. In an attempt to avoid the collision, the milkman spun the steering wheel away from the delivery truck. In doing so, the passenger side of the truck was hit, and the crates of bottles crashed down, directly on my great-grandfather. My grandma skipped the story to her and her sisters arriving home to find bloody clothes on the floor, and my great-grandmother crying. Either before they got home, or after, the milkman came to the front door, and said to my great-grandmother that she had better get to the hospital. My grandma didn't say if he has passed away before any of them could see him or not.

I am always amazed at the life that my grandma had. The hardships that she struggled through, and how she put it all behind her and kept moving forward. I think that if I ended up being like her, it wouldn't be such a bad thing.