Thursday, October 4, 2007

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Well, there were really only two weddings, and no funerals. That might have been a bit hectic. Two weekends ago, my brother got married, and this past weekend, my friends Gillian and Dan got married. And good news for a girl like me, both weddings were open bar. The Best Man at my brother's wedding, his gift to them was the open bar. Nice friend!!

Top Ten list of the Top Two Weddings (in no particular order)

1. My brother's speech to the Bridesmaids: "Jen told me I had to give a toast to the bridesmaids. I wasn't really sure what to say, so..." he reaches into his tuxedo jacket pocket, and pulls out two pieces of toast. One for each of the ladies. Then he literally sat down and took a sip of wine. Smooth, Mike, smooth. I can see why it took ten years for Jen to marry you.

2. My brother likes to cut the rug on the dance floor like no one would believe. While he lacks rhythm and grace, he still likes to shake his groove thang. There were times it was just Mike on the dance floor, wiggling about, smiling like the drunken fool. Typical wedding music being spun by the DJ, my roomie--who kindly posed as my date--and I decided it was time for a Conga line! Mike was easily persuaded to join, in fact, took the leading position. We snaked, kicked, giggled, and tripped our way around the room. I steered Mike towards my table so I could pick up my beer, and like a good brother, he obliged. After all, what are big brother's for? Nearing the end of the song, I glanced back over my shoulder to see that nearly everyone in the room had stood up and joined in! Did not expect that to happen! I feel that the conga line made it officially a wedding. Though thank heavens there was no chicken dance....

3. Lovely Laura, as I like to call her, has been a long time friend of my mother's. They met when we were just kids, and she's been in our lives ever since. As an impromptu speech, she took to the podium, and began a nice toast. What started off as a happy, thoughtful toast, full of comments like "I'm so happy for you guys," "I feel so blessed to be in your lives" turned in a hyperventilated stuttering of "I feel like it's one of my own kids getting married" and "oh fuck, I'm drunk and I can't finish saying this". She stumbled back to her seat, and cried on the shoulder of the poor gentleman who was seated next to her. Poor Laura, overwrought with emotion. Ahhh...she's a dear woman.

4. My niece, Marlee, is 16 years old. Though she's got the figure of woman a few years older. Sly little girl, wearing a dress cut to there. Her date, whose name I have forgotten, could not keep his eyes (or hands) off of her. Marlee was seated at my table, along with my sister and brother-in-law Brian. Boyfriend and Marlee continually kiss each other, gaze lovingly into each others eyes. Jen leans over to me and says in a hushed tone, "Do you think they do it?" I giggled and said they better not be, or I'll kick his ass. Her reply was to pay attention to their hands, and when the disappear under the table, if her eyes glaze over, we'll know. My roomie is a perv.

5. I had a dress situation. I bought this really cool dress. It's a giant wrap around skirt, made from old sari silks. You can wrap it around all these different ways, as a dress and skirt. Very cool, I tell you. Very cool, that is, until you are struggling with a two year old child who is missing nap time and not wanting to get her photos taken down by the lake, and you realize that with each and every move you make, the dress is coming loose and slowly sliding down your front. I thought it was just a momentary thing. Until I realize that this problem is going to occur through out the entire evening, and ladies would keep coming up to me, tug up the back of my dress to no avail because my bra was showing...It's a shame it's such a pretty dress, because I'M NEVER GOING TO WEAR IT AGAIN.

(Moving on the next wedding)

6. Speech from the Groom, introducing his side of the wedding party. When he got to Dave, he seemed kind of stumped on what to say. "Next is Dave, he's been my friend forever, and he's my cousin. He's just great... [pause] I don't know if all of you out there know Dave or not, but well, I'd recommend you put him in your wedding party anyways, cause he's great to have around." I know Dave, it's true. One of the best laughs I've ever heard.

7. It was a small town wedding. If you know me, you know I love small town. As easy as it might be, I just can't get the two step down pat. (Yes, I know, it's two steps. But it doesn't work well for me. Hush now.) Roger, who is 'one of the guys', (and Dave's older brother, they share the same great laugh), has a keen knack for two stepping. We've danced before, with him twirling and whipping me around the dance floor, and me giggling, getting dizzy and thinking I might barf. The wedding was no different. I sidled up to Roger, and requested a dance later in the evening. He seemed a bit taken aback, but honoured my request. After we two stepped, I got harangued by my friends boyfriend Mike. He gave me the serious eye, and said that Roger was creepy. I'm pretty sure he was telling me not to go for Roger. I think I had my classic WTF look on my face, and laughed. Roger is not creepy. Weird yes, creepy no. Mike looked at me funny, said ok, and walked away. At the end of the night, Roger came to say bye, asked if I was still in London. I told him I moved to Toronto, and he looked a bit disappointed. Hehehe, maybe Mike had overheard something and thought he was taking a preventative act. Who knew I'd get the cock block from Mike?

8. I seem to suffer from dyslexia every now and then. Muddle up my word. Early in the evening, I was talking to Tara about Gillian and Dan. But instead of saying Gill and Dan, I called them Jan, and we thought that was quite hysterical (remember, it was open bar?? Everything was quite hysterical). Ha! Must've stuck in Tara's head, because when she got up to give a toast, she called them Jan... I think I'm the only one who found that actually funny.

9. When the wedding was over, the party was just starting. Being that I was the date to the Maid of Honour (seriously, folks, the only 'dates' I've had lately are with girls. Is the good lord trying to tell me something here!?!?!) (Erin -- my old roomie -- was the maid of honour. At the time when the invites went out, she was not dating her current lover, Keith, and suggested we go together) (Um, I love side notes in case you can't tell) and friends with most of the wedding party, I had an in to the after party. Also had an in to the after party because it was happening in my hotel room that I was sharing with Erin and Lara. Dave sweet talked the catering staff and scored us several bottles of wine. See, he is handy to have around! We filed back to the hotel, realized there were no cups, and in true party fashion, we cracked open the wine and just passed it around and around the room, taking sips (ahem, gulps) one at a time. I haven't done that since before I graduated from university. Oh the good times...This story would be a lot better if someone fell off the bed or something. I just really like that Dave scored us all that wine.

10. And finally, I had a dress situation yet again. After deciding I would not be wearing my very cool sari wrap dress, I decided to wear this other dress. It's brown, it's a wrap, it's cute. So cute, that Erin chose to wear it on her first date with Keith. A date that they got a little frisky a little later on in the evening. After I found out that Keith would likely be attending the wedding (not as Erin's date, haha...sucker), I thought to myself, well hell, I can't wear the dress now. This dress has a reputation that I can't keep up with!!! Poor Erin, I'm just kidding.

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