Too Many Crazies

Oh man. I lied in one of my recent posts. THIS is the craziest call I had last week. I will only sum it up for you, rather than rattle off the conversation.

Again, an error in our Sarnia-Lambton directory.

Crazy-Taxi-Cab-Man called in to inform us that we listed him in the f%*&ing white pages, and not the f%*&ing yellow pages. What kind of a$$holes are we to do that? Who gives us the right to f%*&ing decide where he is listed?? Why does he pay us to do that???

I try to calmly apologise to the crazy-taxi-cab-man for the error, and inform him I can submit the correction and have it fixed next year. (Well, that doesn't f%*&ing help him right now.) I also tell him he has not paid to be listed, it was info provided by the public utility company. I might have uttered a giggle as this was to ridiculous. I tell him that if he continues to swear at me, I will hang up. And then he says he's going to come down to our office. I say, if that is what you want to do, ok. Then he says...(are you ready for this?)...

"I'm going to come to your office, and you'll call the police. And when they show up, I'll beat them all up too!"

Seriously, I am not kidding. So I manage to confirm that he would like his listing removed from the f%*&ing white section and placed in the f%*&ing yellow section, and then hang up on him after I tell him again I will hang up if he keeps swearing.

Then he calls back. He demands to speak to my boss. Jody tells him I am the manager of this department, he insists that I must report to someone. She obliges and gives him the number to our corporate office where my boss works.

So he calls Suzanne. He rattles off the same slurs to her, but his insane two lines to her are:

"Who do I make out the lawsuit to?" She says that is something he would have to speak to his lawyer about, and he replies "I don't have a lawyer, I take care of everything myself." So she says "Well then sir, I think you should be able to answer your own question." (Hehehe, this is why I love her).

Next insane line that he says to her "How do you know I wasn't just released from prison on a life sentence and that I won't come and murder you?" OMG. He really did say that. Her reply was "If you were in prison on a life sentence, they would not have released you."

WHAT A WEIRDO!!!!!!!!!!

Can't I call the police and report him for making threats against our company and the police? I have his name and number after all....

(Please Lord, assist me in my quest for a new job, because this is too ridiculous....)